Stars and time.

I should look at the stars more often.  I feel like I used to.  I have memories of sitting in various places I've lived or traveled and taking the time to notice the sky.  Tonight during the evening ritual we refer to as "one last potties" (our long standing attempt at making sure the big dog doesn't pee all over our kitchen while we're sleeping), I turned off my headlamp and looked up.  I actually still recognized a few of the constellations and it struck me that I haven't gazed upward at night for a long time.  Like years.  Why?

My first thought was that I don't have time.  When I was in possession of enough free time to spare looking around and not directly forward to my destination, I was younger.  I didn't have family and jobs and specific goals and houses and dependents.  Now, if I'm outside, chances are I have limited time and it's spent burning calories or getting things done.  Hard to stare glossy eyed into the abyss when you're carrying 8 bags of groceries.

Then I thought that it's not that time of year.  It's been unseasonably warm this fall and winter and although the stars seem to shine the brightest around now - probably due to the lack of tree coverage - I just don't think we're hardwired to stop and spend some bonus time outdoors in January when the mercury is usually bottoming out around 20.  It's hunker down time, and that's mostly done indoors.

I also considered that I am pretty familiar with my surroundings here.  I've lived in this area for 6 years now, not to mention my entire childhood, and when looking around, I feel pretty certain that I know what to expect.  I use phrases like "the trail next to the 'sitting tree'" or "the climb next to the red house on the pond" to describe local places.  I remember playing a game in my parents car when I was a kid, sitting in the back with my eyes closed, picturing all the turns as we drove them, knowing exactly what was outside down to what type of fence or christmas lights each house had.  There's a comfort that comes with that familiarity but also a lack of necessity to explore what else might be out there.  To look around for more.

Lastly, I settled on the fact that when I used to look up, I think I was wondering what the future would hold.  Like sitting at the ocean, staring at the stars and their vastness, I always felt most that the possibilities were endless.  A day dreamers blank canvas I guess.  Maybe once you get older, some of those possibilities are narrowed down and the need to go looking for answers isn't quite as pressing. 

Either way, I'm glad I noticed.  I'd like to think it'll make me slow down and look around a little more often but who knows. 

Life is busy.  In all the best ways.